My day after the first dose experience was a compression of my months of covid. I had fever and body aches that woke me up at 5am. By 11 I had severe nausea and a headache to go along with it. At 5pm I got out of bed and stayed awake for more than an hour. And by 7pm ate dinner, went back to bed, slept 11 hours, and it was done.
I traveled for a lot of 2019 and 2020. I didn’t get much proper exercise, though I kept up with a version of the 2019 routine enough to maintain the ability to do each movement. It’s gotten a little longer and I’ve split it into alternating day routines that, given enough energy, I could complete in about 45 minutes. I’ve rarely been able to make it through without being exhausted. Some days I finish late, doing parts throughout the day. Other days I just get done what I can. Sometimes I spend the entire day trying to get the energy to exercise.
About 7 weeks ago, I started strength training again. An old-lady zoom program I get free with Medicare. I could hardly keep up with my mom. She takes it at her pace, but moves constantly for the entire 45 minute class and then often goes to another one.
*HIIT: During the cardio part of the circuit classes, I do 50 jumping jacks as fast and hard as I can. It’s about 30 seconds each of high intensity per set. The goal is 4 sets, plus an extra set of jumping rope.
*Diet: Creatine pre workout, BCAA post, high protein (1g/lb) diet, adding casein just before bed.
The schedule has organically increased in frequency. It wasn’t planned. I just got strong enough to do more. And mom is pretty insistent. Or regimented. Or something. I asked why and she had a one-word answer: ‘fear.’ Of? Being bedridden. Not able to move herself. Being in pain.
I’m not sure what I’m afraid of. But I hope I can run again. Even for just a few minutes a day. 🙂
OK, things are getting worse. Yesterday my therapist asked for the usual credentials at the beginning of a session: name, DOB, address. I gave name and address and hesitated. Took me a minute to remember what else she’d asked for. We have done this weekly for over a month, and still I couldn’t remember.
Later the same day, I host a zoom meeting. It’s protocol to thank each person who makes a comment in their allotted time. On the very first one, I forgot. The procedurals that are automated are going downhill.
I’ve had bad days, but this was a new low. With a degenerative disorder, new lows are the new normal.
This isn’t bad or good, it’s just what is. I don’t want to post this. But the purpose of this blog is to document the decline in detail. In realtime. And I don’t feel terrible. Just a sense of urgency to get done the things I won’t be able to do.
I play musical instruments, mostly guitar and piano. And I have a back catalog of about 300 songs. I’ve recorded a couple dozen. The others are mostly lost to weird made-up notation (not tab or sheet music) and lyric fragments. Some jpegs of literal fragments of paper. I’m not sure what’s worth saving. And it’s daunting to look at it and try to sort it. Much less re-learn and re-record it.
I’ll get done what I get done. Or as my mom and her father used to answer, to lots of things: “either it will or it won’t.” And I can choose to be ok with that, too. 🙂
It’s time for a diet upgrade. I’m not traveling (thanks, covid), I have access to more fresh food. I’m ready to up my exercise game, since I’m experimenting with Meloxicam to see if I can build strength without injury to the entheses. And I’m watching a course on changing body composition.
Here’s the plan:
Vegan when I can (price and environmental impact), some chicken and fish, maybe some egg whites. High protein: 75g+ per day. Low cost (duh). I’m going to supplement pre- and post- exercise with creatine and BCAAs. I’ll be adding a protein shake for an additional 15g protein and 75 kc just before bed.
Here’s an example. It’s NOT vegan, gluten free, high protein, high omega 3 (with fish oil supplements), 6-meal timing optimized, under 1800 kc, and relatively inexpensive.
Here are the macros: 20% protein, 21% fat, 59% carbs.
I have a vegan version that is closer to 70% carb, about 10g less protein – substitutes beans and rice and olive oil for avocado/chicken salad.
I’ve been too reliant on fizzy drinks and artificial sweeteners. So I’m reducing to 1 unsweetened fizzy a day, and using only monkfruit/erythritol to sweeten coffee.
So I’ll see how this goes, especially with pricing. The BCAAs, creatine, and protein shake aren’t cheap. I’m exercising 6 days a week, strength training on 2-3, consistently for about the past 2 months. My goal is to see increases in strength and a better body composition with less injury.
A week in: I’m INSANELY hungry all the time, eating prob 800kc more every day. Have gained muscle, to be sure. But I wake up to eat sometimes.
Mastering The Decline 